Thoughts on a Kumquat

I went snack shopping with my teenage son today. He chose two large frozen pizzas and a little plastic carton of kumquats. Since nobody seems to know what a kumquat is, I'll describe them briefly. A kumquat is like a tiny orange, about the size of the last joint of a small adult's thumb. In the car on the way home, the boy couldn't wait. He started to peel a kumquat. He got through the peel, but not the pith. Soon it became more amusing to squeeze the kumquat than to peel it, and he squirted kumquat juice all over the dash and windshield. This amused him. At home, he cut the kumquats in half and sucked the juice out. He gave one half to me so I could taste it. A kumquat tasted like a combination of orange and lemon, and the drops of juice inside are quite tasty if you like sour. I do like sour, so I'm not being sarcastic. Next, my son asked me if we had a juicer, and I cringed at the thought of juicing those tiny kumquats on  a juicer meant for a full-sized orange. Plus, I would have to wash the juicer after he extracted the teaspoon of juice from the whole package. As luck would have it, we don't own a juicer, so the kumquats and I were spared.

I talked to a friend about the kumquats. In an election year, you have to stick to the really important issues, after all. She didn't know how to eat them, either. Once you get the peel off, there's not much left. My friend suggested that the kumquat is a good example of what not to be as an individual--all exterior and no substance.

So, if anyone out there knows what to do with a kumquat, I'd love to hear it. For now, this is the wisdom I have to offer. Kumquats can provide moments of mild enjoyment to teenagers and adults alike. Go out and buy a package today. Unless you're hungry. If you're hungry, buy something else.