Monday, July 20, 2015

The Antioch Writers Workshop has come and gone. I attended this year for the second time. I learned a lot before, and this year, I expected reminders of things I knew. I hoped to discover something I never heard before. The thing about expecting something entirely new, is that, when it happens, it still surprises you.

I chose the afternoon session led by David B. Coe. I did not know him as an author before I chose his group. I picked him because his books seemed most interesting to me when I read through the bios. David led the sessions, but he managed be one of the group, a member with authority. My experience on these afternoons was extraordinary, but it was due to much more than his teaching.

 Twelve writers brought their manuscripts forward for assessment. Each of these twelve offered critique of one another's work, plus David's comments. They gave genuine and kind affirmations, clear and reasonable criticism. I tried to maintain this quality when my turn to speak came around.

My manuscript would be critiqued on the very last day. I tried to savor the anticipation and not to panic. I focused on doing my very best for the people who came before me. I gave them what I wanted myself, and what I saw they gave each other: heaps of deserved praise and honest criticism.

Some things unexpected began to happen right away. These writers saw one another as friends. Some knew each other already, but this group of thirteen developed solidarity. Despite my pathological reserve with unfamiliar people, they even drew me in.

On the final day, I felt emotional. Nerves played a part. My time for critique had come close. I still expected to hear something unexpected. I just knew someone would find some huge problem with my manuscript, an issue which would force me to dissect what I had written. I wanted to make my story better, but facing those twelve people scared me.

I felt emotional for one other reason. I didn't want to leave these people. I didn't want to lose the magic they had spun the last six days.

My critique began and I heard praise and honest criticism. I felt honored to be told by these people how they reacted to my work. I suppose it sounds hokey to you reading this, but I felt closer to them all when they critiqued my manuscript. I had expected to be pushed away.

The huge and unexpected that came to me had nothing to do with my manuscript. Yes, I learned new things. I see a clear path ahead, and for that I am thankful. But this is the epiphany. In only seven days, I became part of a we. For me, that is an unheard of thing.