This is what always happens when I buy rawhide bones. I put the bag on top of the entertainment center and rip a hole in it. All the while, the guys bark and jump around my feet. I give the first to Ollie, the rat terrier. He's ten, the oldest and biggest, and always goes first. Ollie runs to the couch and immediately begins to gnaw. I give the two mini longhaired dachshunds, Theodore and Levi, their bones simultaneously. They each grab their bone, but drop it and run over to steal the other guy's bone.

Theodore prances off to hide his bone. There's no other word for his gait. His back legs are about one-third longer than his front legs, so they always want to drive his nose into the ground. His nose, however, flies high. He's so stinking cute, I can't stand it, and his walk is the cutest thing about him.

Levi sits down right where he is. He chews for all he's worth. He's only two, the youngest and smallest of the guys. His face looks like a precious moments figurine, winsome and teary-eyed. The minute he comes up for air and lets go of his bone, someone else will take it.

I watch them carefully, rescuing Levi's bone before someone makes off with it. He keeps dropping the bone to look around. When my attention wavers, he noses me and looks up with those droopy eyes. Ollie has two bones.

"Ollie, give that back. You can only chew one at a time anyway."

Ollie lets the bone go. He wouldn't think of snapping at me. Levi takes the bone with adoring eyes and goes back to chewing. He works with a vengeance. Meanwhile, Theodore comes back. If you look hard enough, you can find his bone in a laundry basket, an open drawer, or tucked at the back of a closet. He sidles over to Levi.

Theodore cuts his eyes at Levi, glancing around his massive ears. He'll go in for the bone in a minute, and Levi won't protest. Theodore knows better than to take Ollie's bone. It's taken him five years to concede the fact that Ollie is bigger and stronger. But he can get it away from the baby.

Once Levi realizes Theodore wants his bone, he drops it. Little wimp can't bring himself to chew something he knows Theodore wants. I take the bone away at this point, and both guys pout. Ollie even stares at the confiscated bone, ignoring his own sticky, slobbery one.

I hide the bone in my armpit and continue working. Theodore comes up to sit with me, but I'm not fooled. Those eyes are on the bit of bone sticking out behind me. He grabs the nub of bone from time to time, but I'm not letting it go. I notice that Levi has gone. In moments, he returns with Theodore's hidden bone.

Theodore looks stunned that Levi would steal his property, but he never takes the bone away. I give him the bone hidden in my armpit, the one I offered him in the first place, and he runs to hide it. This is the scene at my house until someone comes home and they all drop their bones and run for the door.